For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton.

Richard Bernard Eheart (July 18, 1913 – September 17, 1997) professionally known as Red Skelton was an American comedy entertainer. He was best known for his national radio and television acts between 1937 and 1971, and as host of the television program The Red Skelton Show.

I think you will enjoy this e-mail.

For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed.

Either way, his humor was always clean

and he was a great entertainer.

A re-run of great 'one liners' from the man who was known for his ...

clean humor.

I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.

She goes on Tuesdays,

I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds

Her's is in California,

and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere but,

she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands.

If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!"

So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was.

She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.

Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said,

"No, jump in!".

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of,

divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was

'Always'.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.

I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"

I said, "Dust!".

Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it.

These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.

Comedian Red Skelton enjoyed career success with waves that made a splash with audiences in every performance medium.

He was part of that small and very talented group that included Bob Hope, George Burns, Milton Berle, and Lucille Ball who transitioned from the vaudeville stage to radio, film and television, finding a growing fan base with each leap.

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And he always ended his programs with the words,